Freedom

 

 

August 27, 2014

 

8:08 A.M.

 

Warm Summer morning

 

Warwick, U.K.

 

 

 

Dear Life,

 

The past days has been cold and raining and I honestly miss my tropical sunshine but I am glad that while writing this letter I am getting some warm sunshine out of my bedroom window which is very refreshing.

 

My last letter talked about embracing uncertainties. Today I want to write about embracing freedom.

 

For the past seven years I made sure that my needs were set aside. To have a partner who is going through cancer takes more than strength and patience. It takes so MUCH LOVE for anybody to stand beside a person who is going through this illness.  My partner's needs was my priority and purpose. I primarily focused on that and to make sure that he is also happy, which I believe he was. Truth be told I went into a bit of depression when I realized that without my partner I could find no purpose. I felt useless and unwanted. I even contemplated on shaving my hair off and thankfully there isn't any electric shaver around the house. A form of erasing myself.

 

When I write about "Embracing Freedom" it really doesn't mean that my life for the past years has been a prison cell. Truth be told if we are given a great responsibility we do sometimes feel that we are held back in living our lives to an extent. I placed my life on hold for the man that I love. It was a choice that I made and something that I have no regrets whatsoever. I did it for Love and it was all worth it.

 

Embracing freedom for me now means that the responsibility of looking after someone is finished. I am FREE to make a new choice in this new chapter of my life and the choice that I make and will make from now on is:

 

To Look After Myself

 

For someone like me whose nature is to nurture someone than himself there is no doubt that this choice is something that I will have to get used to.

 

Something new for this new chapter of my Life.

 

Savoring Life One day at a Time.

 

Love,

 

M. xxx