30 days

November 5, 2014
10:21 AM
Panglao, Philippines
Cloudy warm day

Dear Life,

I always apologies every time I start letters for you as I SHOULD write more often to you. You might think that I have more time now that Im back home. But apparently if I have that time I should have written more often. Excuses....I know. I do not want you to think that I am taking you for granted and have forgotten about you because I simply have not. 

Anyway, enough of that. YES! It has been a month since I arrived back and WOW! what a a month of positive changes I am in. Perhaps all of these positive changes makes me busy these days which is very good. Im not only looking after guests which I am very lucky and very thankful to have but I also have time to look after myself. 

I am surprising myself on the things that I am doing for myself now. I have been doing more Yoga, improving my diet and walking India longer regularly. India and I are FIT and healthy which is very good. All of these piled up to me studying more about Psychology is keeping me more than preoccupied but also 'evolving' me. Yes I am currently 'evolving' into someone I believe to be a better me.

I really need to write to you more often. It does help me a lot when I do.


Lots of Love,
M. xxxxx

Positive Changes

October 19, 2014
7:18 P.M.
Incense Evening


Dear Life,

How are you? I am sitting tonight in a state of content having had a very good week and had a good weekend. I just had a simple dinner of left over stir fry vegetables with a good glass of Shiraz. I think the wine made the night very good and easy plus writing to you listening to blues is simply divine.

I always apolgise for not sending you letters as often as much as I can. I know I have reasons but still it would be better if I would write to you within the week but sadly I have forgotten as I have been busy.

Monday was the start of classes. Classes? Of course I must have forgotten to mention that I am taking online classes now. It is part of my goal to have positive changes in this new chapter in my life. I even went to the extent of finding a corner in my bedroom to place a study table. I am no doubting very interested in putting myself in a new routine which includes making the best of my day. Studying is something I am very drawn to so at the moment I am learning:

Spanish
Pyschology
Tourism

I really want to learn a new language and as much as I want to learn French, Spanish is more practical and would be very uselful considering it is the 2nd most spoken language after Chinese. It has been my dream to study Psychology but never had the chance to do so and now that I am given the chance to do it I AM TAKING THE CHANCE. Tourism is something that I can apply immediately with the industry that I am now in.

Aside from starting and enjoying my first week of class and mind you I have made myself a class schedule so that I will have focus too, I also decided to have a new hair style. I had the old hairstyle for yonks and so it is time for a change. There is more............I am also dedicating myself to doing more exercise. I have been practicing Yoga for 10 years but not as religiously as I need to. So now Im doing it everyday and Im improving my diet too as I want to gain a bit of weight. ;)

WOW!! You must think so many has happened for this week alone. Ohhhhh wait I must not forget that I have been busy with looking after guests too which most of them are 11th hour bookings. I have finally met and spoken to my closest friends. I cried when I hugged them but Im very lucky to have friends who support and love me. 

One of the most important thing that I did as well was to clear David's side of the wardrobe. It was essential for me to do it by myself. It was not easy but I did it. It was therapeutic for me to have done it, to put my past aside so that I will have space for my future. 

There are still a lot of stories that I havent mentioned to you but I will eventually find the perfect time to tell you all about it. For tonight I am content and happy. This I will treasure. 

All My Love,

Mykee xxxxxx

Home, My Sanctuary

Oct. 10, 2014

1:49 PM

Warm Philippines

Dear Life,

I am sitting here relaxed surrounded by the warm tropical heat. It has been a week now since I left England and I am happy to be back home. There are a lot of things that I really did not realise that I would miss so much and now that I am back here it just gives me more appreciation to them. 

The home that my partner had built over looks the sea. The sea has been a constant companion of mine for the past six years and how blesses
d I am to be see her again. Even trivial things that seem annoying before like goats bleeting and the cockerels crowing in the morning makes me realise that I am home, safe and sound. This house is more than just a home. This is my sanctuary. 

Of course, how could I ever forget my best friend India who greeted me with wagging tail and lots of doggy licks. She in a funny inspirs me always stay positive as she always is one happy dog. 

Now that I am back home things in me have changed. The two months that I have spent in England was the time you gave me to close one important chapter in my life and to start a new one too. There is no doubting that to an extent I really did not control my own life freely. Some circumstances demanded me to let go of my freedom. Now, I am making the choice to be wise and savour the freedom that I now have. 

There are so many things that I want to write to you. But I will be patient. For now I just want to say 

Thank you for bringing me home. Thank you for bringing me back to my sanctuary. 

Lots of Love,

Mykee xxxx  

Heading back home xxx

Oct. 4, 2014

3:59 PM

Amsterdam Schipol Airport

Dear Life,

I must apologise firstly for not able to write to you. I have been very busy with my last week in England that I have forgotten to write to you. Too many things had happened and they are all good ones.

Where do I start?

London trip was absolutely great. Friends of mine had a great Sunday and our first stop was at Buckingham palace and lucky us we saw the changing of the gaurds. We had a good walk around Picadilly circus & walked pass by The Ritz and posh shops down to Downing street and Houses of Parliament and Big Ben. We had sandwiches across the London eye and simply savoured the atmosphere. We took another train and headed off to London bridge and into the Poppies of The Tower of London. We then went back to Piccadilly and met with one of my partner's close friend - A. & we all had coffee, tea with cakes and good conversation.

A. gave me a lovely present. She handed out a purple bag to me and in it a box. I opened it and  in it was a exquisite silk handkerchief from Liberty London. She told me that once in her life she was.going through very tough times and someone gave her a Liberty hnadkerchief, something to wipe my tears away. A. & and I had a good conversation. She is going through painful time for she is trying to settle her divorce which is always messy. I am going througj a lot myself but I made the decision to let go of everything that I dont have control of and to stay focus and be positive of my future. We said goodbye to A. and on our way to the station she gave me a kiss on the cheek. She and I habe something in common that we try to hide which is Pain. Later that night she sent me a text telling me that I am inspiring.

My last week in England made me realise on what I want to do with my future. What Ive experienced in London is something I want to have, to be surrounded with art, culture, ballet, theater, food and rich history and so much more is something I CRAVE FOR!

I have decided to be in England. Study, work and eventually be a citizen. I have fallen in love with.England that I am determined to live there in time. It wont be easy getting there but I am more than focus and determined.

So I left England with the hope that I will be back to live my dream. I will do my best to have it.

Ill write to yoi as soon as Im settled back home.

Love,

Mykee xxx

Shopping Galore

Sept. 26, 2014
Friday
Warwick, U.K.

 

Dear Life,

 

Im sitting quite comfortably watching "Murder She Wrote", dont ask- Im not holding the remote. I had a good day of shopping galore a.k.a therapy day. I really did not get anything fancy nor expensive. I bought something that I always wanted to have. I got myself a silver signet ring from an antique shop, a sleeping buddha and Ganesh from am Asian store. Yes I have a hippie side. The other day I got good bargains from the charity shop I volunteer at Leamington, gifts for mama & my trustworthy maid back home and more hippie things because I bought incense sticks.

 

I feel this sense of freedom by doing trivial things like shopping. I barely go shopping for what I want. Why? Well that is another letter to write. Now, Im just happy to have today.

 

Love,
M. Xxx

 

 

Bonjour!

Sept. 22, 2014
9:26 A.M.
Warwick, U. K.
Tea morning


Dear Life,

I have problems with my old laptop which might be one reason why as much as I want to write away I hesitate. A few of my letters wont work namely -- z x c v m , . and enter tab. So I a using onscreen keyboard to type these letters in. Anyway, as long as I still can write but it does take time.

 

Weekend went well, and I challenged myself to get on the train after 8 years of not getting into one. Considering that the only transport that I have in the island I live are jeepneys and taxis and the last train I took was in Singapore 8 years ago when I was there looking for work. I managed train journeys well in Singapore but I suppose everything is new to me here in England to an extent. It would be odd to you on why I am making such a big deal about this train journey but to be honest it is something important to me. I did it and I managed to do it by myself. It gave me confidence that it really doesn't seem bad at all as long as you ask for help as I did when I got to the station. I must admit that I got worried that I might get lost, be on the wrong platform and end up in London!!!

 

Anyway I did ask for help and I made it to the other end.

 

Worrying doesn't help as I already know but sometimes could not help myself especially when I am going into something new and different. That train journey was significant to me because it gave me an assurance that new things are not so daunting and help is always around when I need it.

 

Ending this letter with this article I read on the paper. I hope you will like it as well.

 

Tiny steps that'll transform your life.

 

By the way I have decided to start French lessons last Friday too. I always wanted to learn French and so I am now. C'est magnifique!!

I will write to you soon dear Life.


Love,
M xox

Wales and Heartaches

Sept. 20, 2014

Cool morning

Autumn

Warwick, U.K.

 

 

Dear Life,

 

Has been it a week or so since I wrote to you. Perhaps you have might have thought that I have forgotten about you. Well I have not. Simply because you certainly know how to make things very challenging for me.

 

My holiday in Wales was absolutely beautiful. Before heading off to that week holiday everyone was telling me that I need to get some wellington boots and waxed jacket simply because it always rains in Wales. Well, I did but I was ever so lucky with that weather as I really did not need it the whole time I was there. Not single drop of rain.

 

I was actually invited by two women one of them is my friend. They also brought with them their dogs. As soon as we got into Bournemouth, Wales and I finally saw the sea it made me emotional. I never realized how much I have missed it. My house back home sits on the edge of the sea and it has been my companion for the past years.

 

The whole week was pure relaxing and fun at the same time. Of course I am the tourist so the ladies made sure I see the sights which I did. The three dogs enjoyed the freedom to run as much as they can especially on the beach.

 

 

 

 

I shall never forget that week in Wales for it helped me clear my head and my emotions too.

 

When I got back fro Wales we received a letter informing us of that my partner's June 2014 will was not honored since there is only one witness to it and that probate office has decided only to honor the 2008 will which was drawn prior to me and my partner meeting.  The 2008 will only has beneficiary- her god daughter. The father is my partner's ex partner. I immediately rang him and we had a serious conversation regarding the will and he promised me that he will help me and that he will honor my partner's last will. That was on a Sunday.

 

The following Monday he has already changed his mind and decided not to help me. I will have no single penny from the estate. I was devastated and hit rock bottom. Luckily I still have the house since that was not mentioned in the 2008 will.

 

I cried, yes, because I trusted my partner's friends and they were the ones who turned their backs not only to me but to my partner too especially now.

 

I will have to head home very soon and by then leave all these heartaches behind. I have reached the bottom so there is no way but up.

 

 

Savoring Life One Day at a Time.

 

 

Love,

M xox